The Unexpected
by cheertennis12
Summary: "He expects her to fight, because after all, this shouldn't be happening. They're broken up, have been for going on a year. She has a child now. She's finally in a good place, not to even mention that she just went on some ambiguous date with his boss of all people. But in the moment, it's what they both need, and it just feels okay." / Bensidy. Snowstorm. Season 16.


**It's been awhile since I wrote Bensidy... and I wrote in third person, but I had fun with this one. I apologize for any mistakes. I did a little less proofreading than I normally do. Whatever. **

**Bonus points if you can pick the subtle hint as to what I was watching on TV when I wrote this. It wasn't SVU. **

**I love comments. A lot. They're like crack, so help an addict out. **

**Next chapter of Even When It Isn't coming soon. I got distracted. **

**p.s. Blame Kate for the feels. She gave them to me. Not my fault. **

* * *

She had plans for the night. Big, important plans that just so happened to involve her fourteen-month-old foster son, an array of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse DVD's, and some extended cuddle time as they watched the snow blanket the city below their fourth floor apartment together.

All through the sixteenth precinct, the squad spent the day scrambling to tie up loose ends as warnings of the impending snowpocalypse droned on and on from the TV playing in the background. Olivia had called it a day after her babysitter had frantically texted mid-afternoon, concerned about the increasing danger of the roadways and getting home safely. She'd decided to give the girl a break and come home early, confident that her squad could close down business without her. She hoped so, at least.

She swung by the bodega on the way home, sure to stock up on milk and bread, and most importantly, a surplus of baby food and alcoholic beverages. She'd spent her entire life in New York City, and had never heard them talk about a winter storm the way they were predicting this one. Better to be prepared.

She makes it home in the middle of Noah's naptime and quickly shoos Lucy out the door. In the middle of unloading the groceries, her phone buzzes and she rolls her eyes as she reaches for it, fully expecting it to be one of her subordinates whining over the call schedule, or even worse, needing her to damage control a new case. That _would_ be her luck, after all.

Instead, it turns out to be neither.

_Hey Liv, I'm looking for my files on that Gilmore case from last year. I might have left them in the hall closet. Do you mind checking?_

Brian Cassidy – that name hasn't graced her phone in awhile. Not since December 13th of last year, when he'd sent her a generic Happy Birthday text, and before that on October 4th, when she'd sent him the same salutation.

She tiptoes back into the living room and begins to rummage through the closet before she has a chance to forget, shuffling boxes while keenly aware that Noah is still fast asleep only a few feet away. With one slip of the hand, a box comes crashing onto the floor, and she inwardly groans as her son's cries fill the apartment.

"Shhh.. shhhhh… It's okay, baby" She coos as she lifts him out of his crib, balancing him on her hip as she returns to searching through the contents of the closet. Olivia finally comes across the object in question and whips out her phone again to inform Brian that she's hit the jackpot and will figure out how to get the information to him after this storm has passed and business resumes as usual.

_Actually, I really need them as soon as possible. Can I stop by on my way home?_

…

It's not like she hasn't seen him since the breakup, because she has, on occasion. They'd both agreed that moving trucks were a heinous and unnecessary expense, so the first few months afterwards, he'd stopped by the apartment habitually after work, moving a few boxes at a time, although she'd usually made strategic plans to stay late at the precinct on those days. On occasion, they'd run into each other at 1PP, always offering a quick _hi, how are you_, but the conversation would quickly direct to less threatening things than themselves, usually settling on Noah and his latest milestone.

But still, as she waits for him to arrive, she takes extra care to make sure her hair is tidy, and to throw on that sweater that Brian always complimented her on. She has no expectations, none at all, but there's always a certain level of anxiety and preparation else involved with an ex-boyfriend coming over to an apartment they used to share.

…

He knocks on the door, a gesture she appreciates even though she suspects he may still have a key stashed away somewhere. The idea has never bothered her much. In fact, it gives her a certain sense of security, knowing that someone had the means to come check on her, even if it was someone she rarely communicated with. As she opens the door, she's thankful she expected it to be Brian, because otherwise she might not have been able to decipher the identity of the snow-covered figure in her doorway.

She invites him in, and a quick exchange of paperwork turns into reheating her Chinese leftovers and sharing them for dinner. An impromptu meal quickly turns into playtime with Noah, a sight that nearly brings tears to Olivia's eyes as she sits back and watches the scene unfold. Brian and Noah, together the way she'd imagined a year ago when the thought of bringing a child into this apartment first begin to ruminate in her mind. A family she always imagined having with Brian, and seeing the two of them together for the first time was overwhelming.

She knows she should cut the visit short. The weather was getting worse by the second, and Noah needed a bath before bedtime, and there were still those plans of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and snuggling that she'd all but thrown by the wayside after Brian's text that evening. But her head and her heart can't seem to agree, and so she allows the encounter to continue, soaking in every fleeting moment.

…

"It's really looking bad out there." She muses as she picks Noah up and walks over to the window. She bounces him on her hip as she stares out at the snow already concealing the roads and the flanks swirling in front of her. In the thirty minutes since his arrival, the storm had picked up exponentially in force, and she's thankful she made the decision to head home early.

"Damn…" He muses under his breath as he comes to join her at the window, needing to evaluate the situation for himself. "Making it home should be fun."

Olivia turns away and walks toward Noah's crib, taking extra time to arrange his stuffed animals and blankets while pondering her next move. She realizes she doesn't even know where he's been living the past nine months since their relationship ended, but inviting him to stay just seemed to make sense. It didn't mean anything other than two friends, two former coworkers happening to get snowed in together. It would be okay. She hears a rustling behind her and finally turns around to find Brian shrugging on his coat and slinging his briefcase over his shoulder. He stares at his phone, making a disgusted face as he scrolls.

She shoots him a confused look, eliciting a quick explanation. "Subways are shut down. Buddy of mine lives about six blocks from here. I'm going to get going before it gets any worse, see if I can make it there and crash on his couch. Night, Liv." He shuffles awkwardly, as if trying to decide if he should give her a hug goodbye, or a kiss, or maybe his words were enough and he could just walk away.

"No…" She jumps in with a little more enthusiasm than she intended, before quickly toning it down. "Stay here. It's okay. I can keep Noah in the bedroom with me if you don't mind taking the couch. It's comfortable."

"Yeah. I know." He answers with a grin, but still covering a lingering sadness in his voice. She remembers it too, that afternoon that they spent shopping for furniture to celebrate signing the lease to their apartment and playfully arguing over their options. Together. The couch had been his favorite, his first choice, and she had begrudgingly allowed it to win, although she would never admit that it wasn't too difficult of a compromise.

He unloads his things and playtime resumes. After awhile, Olivia takes Noah to the bedroom, not without a conscious remembering that it's the one she used to share with Brian, settling the baby into the pack-and-play that serves as his portable home. She takes her careful time rocking him to sleep, knowing that once she leaves here, she has to face Brian, and any plans of a quick handoff of the files that necessitated this encounter were out the window.

…

"So… I hear you and Tucker, huh…?" Brian wastes no time stirring the pot as he settles on the couch, a safe distance away from where she's leaning against the other armrest. He smirks at his comment, leaning over and gently elbowing Liv in the side a few times for good measure.

She rolls her eyes. "Oh god…" She shakes her head. "No…. _no._"

He continues to grin knowingly as her cheeks flush red with embarrassment. It was _one_ drink, and she was still trying to figure out what the hell it meant, and how he even knew about that? Men talked, of course, but she was shocked that their…_whatever_ had made it as a topic of discussion, especially given the history that she and Brian had. And even though she knew that Tucker and Brian weren't exactly braiding hair and swapping friendship bracelets, any kind of relationship with Tucker would feel like a betrayal nonetheless. Aside from the history that she herself had with Tucker, his connection to Brian served as more of a hangup than anything else. She would never.

Brian clears his throat "You know, uh, Liv. You don't have to… um, because of me. I mean, if that's what you want, it's okay. Really. No hard feelings." He shuffles a bit, and Olivia can immediately sense his discomfort. She presses her lips together and nods, because she's still not quite sure what she thinks of this new and improved and _nice _Ed Tucker, but she can't deny that his intentions are a little intriguing.

The pair sits in silence, reeling from the newfound awkwardness of this situation. Here, stuck together for the night with nowhere to go and no separation in sight, unless she shuts herself in the bedroom with Noah. At 8:30pm. And Brian knows her well enough to know _that's_ anything but normal.

Brian clears his throat, and she braces herself for the unknown. "Can I ask you something?"

She nods, before finally squeezing out an uncertain "yeah."

"How are you doing?" He asks, and she notices the subtle nervousness in his voice.

She knows he's asking about more than her life with Noah, or venture as squad commander, or even her reimmersion into the single life. Her first instinct is to settle back into old habits – roll her eyes and spit out some excuse about being _okay_, and _fine, _and even_ how dare he ask, _then grab a bottle of wine and sulk for the rest of the night_. _But tonight its different. The question is less threatening than it's ever been, and she's grown enough over the past year to believe that it's not always intended to harm. She decides to be honest.

"I… sometimes it feels like it was all a dream. A bad dream." She sighs, scrubbing her hand across her face. "It's… a process. Some days are almost normal. A new normal. But then others… I don't know."

Olivia's eyes drift to her forearms, littered with scars from those four days in hell, a permanent reminder of everything she's gone through etched in her skin. She looks back up at Brian and realizes that his eyes are there too. Immediately, she becomes even more self-conscious, tugging at her three-quarter length sleeves to cover as much of the offending marks as possible.

"Hey. Don't." He reaches his hand to cover hers. She jolts a little at the feel of his skin against hers, the first time in nearly a year, and she's missed it more than she ever realized.

"What?"

"You're beautiful, Liv." _Oh wow, _and it's been a long time since she's heard that either. That familiar fluttering begins in her stomach, the same feeling she first experienced that evening in the interrogation room when she was reintroduced to Cassidy for the first time in nearly fifteen years. Although, _you're beautiful _had a much better ring to than his initial _you look good _with his eyes fixed on your ass.

Again, silence.

He immediately realizes his mistake and tries to cover it. Telling her she's beautiful after all they've been through. After their confession of love and subsequent separation. When he's the only man she's heard those words from since her attack. It's too much for the psyche that's still much more fragile than she'll ever let on. "Liv. Ba—. I didn't mean that to—" He backpedals, nearly calling her _babe_ in the process, another habitual no-no.

She jumps off the couch so quickly it startles him. He pushes himself up and follows her into the kitchen, apologizing profusely along the way. She absorbs every word, but chooses to ignore it, still trying to process through the words that have been spoken and this sudden turn of events. _Wine. She needs wine. _He watches as she pulls a bottle of red from the refrigerator and fills up two glasses, handing one to him as she leans against the counter.

"It's okay, Bri." She says, quiet but steady.

_Bri. _His nickname. She's the only one who's ever called him that, and it brings a slew of memories flooding back. Memories of their two years together, of Ganzel and their trip to the Bahamas, and simpler times before their collective life was turned upside down by a man named William Lewis.

"You know what, we don't have to talk about this. Tell me more about Noah. What'd he get for Christmas?" He forces a smile and waves his hand in the air as a form of surrender, and she's grateful for the way out he's provided. But she won't take it, because if the last year apart has taught her anything, it's that he deserves to talk once in awhile, and she's never let him before.

"No… maybe we should." She shrugs lightly, bringing the glass up to her lips for another dose of liquid courage. "Right now, I'm in a good place… with, with Noah and the squad, and… I don't know if I would be here if it wasn't for you." She manages a smile, the tears prickling her eyes.

Brian is taken aback. Aside from the frequent nights she'd woken up screaming and divulged morsels of information either in her subconscious or in the subsequent panicked frenzy, this is the first time he's ever truly heard her speak of such things out of her own accord. And why now, of all times?

She moves closer, inhaling the scent of his cologne and allowing it to take her back to a more familiar place as she delves into this head on. "I was… a mess last year. And I know that you put up with so much of my shit. I don't know if I can ever make it up to you…" She trails off.

"You don't have to." He says pointedly interjects as she rambles on.

"… and you never asked anything of me, except to talk to you, tell you what I was thinking. And that seemed so… so _threatening_ at the time." She continues, her voice growing a little more unsteady by the syllable, "But now, with everything that's happened with Rollins, and Amaro…" She skirts the details, because after all, Brian is IAB, and there are some things she's certain he already knows. "… I just see them hurt, and I want to _do_ something, but I can't. They won't let anyone help them, and it makes me think how hard it must have been for you, to see me… like that."

Brian nods, afraid to speak for fear of saying the wrong thing, something that's going to halt this unprecedented moment of honesty.

"I'm not very good at this kind of stuff, Bri. Talking about… _things_, and Lewis, and everything that happened. I don't know if I'll ever be ready to talk about what happened_. _But I wish I had paid attention to how hard everything was for you. How hard _I_ made everything for you. I'm sorry" A single tear slips down her cheek, and although she tries to duck her head and hide it, it doesn't go unnoticed.

"Liv… You have nothing to be sorry for." He takes a final sip of his wine and sets it on the kitchen counter before taking hers and placing it beside his empty glass. With a split second of hesitation, he wraps his arms around her and pulls her in close.

He expects her to fight, because after all, this shouldn't be happening. They're broken up, have been for going on a year. She has a child now. She's finally in a good place, not to even mention that she just went on some abstruse rendezvous with his _boss_ of all people. But in the moment, it's what they both need, and it just feels okay.

"I've missed you." Olivia mutters as she rests her head against his chest and sinks in to his embrace. And it's true, she has, so much more than she's ever cared to admit to herself.

Brian plants a tentative kiss on the top of her head, and without giving herself enough time to second guess her impending actions, she lifts her head up and allows her lips to crash into his.

She knows this is temporary. It doesn't mean anything, other than two people with a long history of mutual care and respect, who have weathered the worst storms of their lives together finally having a chance to unpack the weights they have carried for so long. It's not a rekindling of any relationship. It's one night of closure for them both. And that makes it okay.

…

The next morning, Olivia wakes before the sun, a habit that's developed alongside raising a toddler. After a few moments of confusion over what happened last night and just whose arm is secured around her waist, the events of the evening came flooding back into her mind. A glass of wine, and another, and _another_, and finally uncorking an additional bottle for both of their indulgence. Swiftly moving Noah back to his crib in the living room so as not to disturb him as you venture into the bedroom. Brian's hands, and his lips, and a night with no regrets.

She listens intently to the baby monitor and breaths a sigh of relief when she hears nothing but silence. There's a whole list of things to do today, a list she should take every opportunity to jump on before the focus of her day must shift to entertaining a fireball of energy. But as she feels Brian's steady breathing on the nape of her neck, and his bare chest pressed against the skin of her back, she decides that all of that can wait.


End file.
